Reply to Worth breaking up over a birthday?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My guess is that most of the posters attacking OP have their birthdays acknowledged. 
(Cue the posters who will chime in to say how their birthday is just another day, they don’t expect to get any acknowledgement, they don’t need anything.). [/quote]

Exactly. How many people on this board post about how their spouse never acknowledged Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc, and their feelings were hurt. Better to suss this info now and address accordingly. [/quote]

14:50 here.  I didn't attacked OP but suggested she be more explicit in her expectations.  I've been married 20+ years.  My DH has not been the greatest at recognizing/celebrating me and, yes, there's been hurt feelings and arguments over it.  So I get how it feels.

I gently suggest that this is baggage that is bleeding over from her last relationship.  Even in established relationships there will be miscommunications and hurt feelings when one person hasn't given or hasn't heard a particular message.  Given the broad range of what people expect on their birthdays, it is not unreasonable for this guy not to realize just how strong OP feels about it and how much is riding on how he handles it.  OP is catastrophizing something that hasn't even happened!  That, truly, is an indication that something is off.

OP is perfectly within her rights to want to be with someone that she doesn't have to put effort into getting them to recognize/celebrate her birthday in the way she wants. But, this is going to be an issue that she takes to every relationship she starts.  It would behoove her to do some work on herself regarding it.  I also suspect it isn't the only baggage she's carrying from her last relationship. (And, I mean this in a really kind way.  It totally sucks having these feelings.)[/quote]

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