Reply to Why are people here so averse to pushing their kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted this as a comment on another thread, but I think it's odd how many posters here are averse to pushing their kid and having them develop an amazing work ethic (the #1 key to success!) all because they're worried that they'll [b]harm their fragile snowflake's "mental health."[/b]

I demand that my kid (who is of fairly average intelligence -- 110 IQ) take the most rigorous classes offered at their school (a "W" school), try their best to get straight As (so far successful except for 1 B sophomore year), participate in a sport, play an instrument, work a (crappy, minimum wage) summer job, and be active in community service. DC doesn't want to do any of this (they are naturally very lazy), but I push them academically and extracurricularly because it forms a well-rounded human being. Not for the sake of college admissions, not for the sake of impressing an AO, but for the sake of developing a work ethic that'll launch them into success in college and beyond. Too many Americans these days lack a strong work ethic.

And for some reason, the parents on here think that all of this will destroy my kid's mental health. The best thing you can do for your kid's mental health is to build grit and resilience, as well as normalize failure. That's why I demand that my kid try their best at activities that are naturally outside of their comfort zone. It seems as though this is a common approach to successful and well-rounded kids; the ones who are the healthiest and happiest in DC's friend group are the ones who are pushed by their parents to do things outside of their comfort zone while normalizing failure and not being the best at everything you do. And the ones in DC's friend group with the most mental health issues are the ones with [b]coddling parents [/b]who try to shelter their kid from every potential failure while not pushing them to step outside of their comfort zone. [/quote]
With this language, it's clear you aren't interested in answers, but in telling parents how they are wrong. Might be better to just rephrase it.

Also, extracurricularly is not a word.[/quote]

Right?  This is so obviously asked in bad faith.  Like there's no middle ground between making your kid do the hardest everything and just letting them do whatever they want.  [/quote]

Right!  There's a huge difference between what this parent wants (tiger mom) versus encouraging your kid to excel at what they are interested in.  Yes, I push my kids to do well and take what's rigorous for them.  But I let my 1500+ student choose not to take AP English or APUSH and focus instead on AP STEM courses (ie courses they are interested in).  Sure, they could do the other 2 but they would not have slept as it would take 10-15 hours/week for each of those courses at our HS, because they have an EC that takes 15-25 hours per week, sometimes more.  I also let them choose that one EC (not at school) and focus on that because that's what they love to do.  Are they good at it?  Yes they are really good at it.  Are they the best at it? No, they are not top level at it, but they give 120% and grow leaps and bounds each year from where ThEY were the previous year.  So they know dedication and devotion and have a very strong work ethic.  I let them pick what they wanted to do and work hard at that.  They didn't do much EC at "School" as there was no interest and really not much time with AP courses and this EC.

My kid has everything you desire, but doesn't have anxiety, stress to impress their parents so we can brag, and most importantly, my kid is living life and enjoying life doing what makes them happy.  It is kid led and that I tend to find makes for a better adult and well rounded person.  They developed the skills because they wanted to and enjoyed HS for the most part.

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