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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I tried this with my dad and it has not gone well. He has become extremely dependent on me for everything and I have young kids and a job and I’m exhausted. He sees me as a resource for everything he needs (a ride to the mechanic, batteries, some eggs, help moving a piece of furniture, dog sitting, rides to airport, laundry since he doesn’t have a washer/dryer). It’s horrible.

Btw-my dad is not elderly and is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. But he is extremely cheap, and that makes it so he expects me to do things to help him not spend money (like on an Uber to the airport). He has no shame and no self awareness and zero understanding of what it is to work and raise young kids. I also end up getting suckered into paying for things for him (like Ubers to the airport) because I’m not willing to drive.

It’s probably different with a mom, I’d guess. I regret this and I’m looking for a way out-potentially moving to another state.

I know boundary setting would have helped but I struggle with that. [/quote]

Your last line says it all.
It is unhealthy that you cannot set reasonable limits with him. You would benefit from therapy, but probably feel you don’t have time for it.

Begin by drawing one line in the sand (like he has to start using Uber, for example). Or get grocery delivery. Don’t ask, tell him the new arrangement. He will protest, most likely, but you have to take control of your life. It’s time.

Good luck. [/quote]

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