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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s no wonder why teachers are fleeing the classroom. [/quote]

Was about to say, what a toxic freaking thread for the last day of school. Keep on stinking DCUM[/quote]

[fixing this post so the quote is actually in quotes]

This toxic freaking thread was started by a teacher, who issued a blanket statement that actually does not apply to all parents or all teachers, but phrased as though it does. If a teacher reads this thread and "flees the classroom" that might be a good thing. I mean look at this:

[quote]Your mean kid is not “a leader of the pack” they’re a bully. And your child on the spectrum is not only “a loner genius”, they’re autistic. And your child who is getting picked on is not always “an innocent victim” they usually need to learn how to NOT be a victim.[/quote]"

This is a disturbing statement from a teacher. First she's assigning labels to kids based on behavior -- bully, victim. That's a problem right there because if you work with kids in this stage of behavioral development, the focus needs to always be on the behavior. Behavior can change, but you don't assign kids labels that might follow them around. Second, it concerns me that apparently social dynamics in this teacher's classroom are apparently so bad that she's upset with both the parents of the aggressive kids AND the parents of the kids who are receiving the aggressive behavior. Is there any parent who is doing enough for this teacher. The thing about "your kid needs to learn how not to be a victim" is especially gross to me. If you've ever had a kid on the receiving end of bullying or hurtful behavior, you have absolutely grappled with how to help them learn ways to avoid that in the future. But I would NEVER blame a kid for getting bullied. They are kids! Just stop. This is toxic.

And the loner genius/autistic statement is just ignorant. Is this teacher an expert in spectrum diagnoses? I guarantee no. Teachers should NEVER tell parents "your kid is autistic" or "your kid has ADHD" or whatever. You can describe the behavior you are observing, explain how it may be inhibiting social or academic development, and suggest the parent get the child evaluated by an actual expert. You don't diagnose kids, you don't assign labels you don't really understand. Also, you understand the limitations of your experience. Kids with autism, for instance, are always autistic. They aren't NT at home and autistic at school. Even the most adept masker will not act so differently at home that the parent simply does not notice the autistic behaviors. However, there are kids who display behaviors at school that might seem to indicate autism, but if you observe them at home, you'd know immediately that this is not the diagnosis. These kids may have social anxiety, or there may be something else going on that inciting behaviors at school that are not present at home. Which is why a teacher is NOT well positioned to diagnose a child and why you have to get an independent evaluation which will take into account the child's behaviors in all settings.

The teacher in this case may mean well, but she is engaging in precisely the kind of thinking that makes me LESS likely to take a teacher's assessment to heart. I'm sorry if pointing that out is "toxic". If a teacher struggles with this, maybe they shouldn't be in the classroom anyway.[/quote]

Thank you for this.  It helped to clarify why I found the OP off-putting in a way I couldn't quite identify.

Well, I could identify why I found the victim-blaming of the OP off-putting, but otherwise....[/quote]

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