Reply to SIL left our door open while we were out of town- no apology. Should I say something to her?

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Reply to "SIL left our door open while we were out of town- no apology. Should I say something to her?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your H's lack of reaction or rather immediate defensiveness makes me think there's a history of you complaining about SIL to him and he's sensitive to it.

Any normal person would be furious. If my sibling, whom I love deeply, did this to our house I'd be very upset along with my spouse.

Definitely get a camera for the door. [/quote]

Op here. Ding ding ding! He is allergic to criticism of anyone in his family. The denial runs deep.
I have complained about SIL in the past. The big one was when she asked for a login/password to watch a show that was included for free on one of our accounts, then proceeded to BUY additional shows and movies but didn’t tell us. When I was looking at credit card bill, I noticed charges that seemed odd, and realized she had purchased movies and just charged it to the default payment method. She never said a word. Spoiler alert- i was livid. When dh asked her about it, she said yes I bought the movies. No apology.  Spoiler alert- he defended her and said he would pay for the movies. “What’s the big deal it’s not that much money just movies.”

Same pattern at work here. I feel like I’m painted as the overreacter and he defends her with no harm or not a big deal.
[/quote]

You are overreacting, though.  "Livid" is not really the right reaction to some movie charges.  I would be annoyed and then I would change my password and decline to let her use the subscriptions services again.  She sounds like a careless mooch, which is not really a furious/livid/lose you sh!t  over situation.  If you go in with guns blazing blowing a situation out of proportion, you DH is more likely to be defensive.  [/quote]

Op here. I consider knowingly charging something to someone’s credit card, without the decency to ask or say something, akin to stealing. At best, it’s mooching. At worst, it’s being shady.[/quote]

Right, but you do know that the only person you hurt by becoming overly outraged in this situation is yourself?   You let your SIL take up prime real estate in your brain that could be used for other things.  This is not that big of a deal.  Cut off access, deny her any ability to use it in the future, and then forget about it.  The joke's on you for reacting this way.[/quote]

Op here. I hear you. 
A part of me wishes dh would open his eyes and see her for who she is.
But he won’t. His own words to me when both things happened included the phrase “I intentionally forget things, Otherwise I’d be upset frustrated a lot”[/quote]

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