Reply to Anyone had success with an open marriage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Anyone had success with an open marriage?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if this is a serious question, this is the wrong place to ask. I don't think the DCUM platform has many posters that will support this. I think you should look elsewhere for advice. [/quote]

I agree with this. Most people here will act appalled but I can guarantee there ar least 1/4 of the same posters are doing shady things behind closed doors.

But I do know a few people who are in open relationships. They are still together. Not my cup of tea, but the key is to have honest communication with each other and it can work. No going behind the others back. [/quote]

Everyone keeps saying this but there have actually only been a few posts &quot;appalled&quot; at the idea.

I would be surprised if anyone over the age of 40 doesn't know at least one couple in an open marriage at this point. But as someone who has known several open marriages, the failure rate is pretty high. I know people will say &quot;but but 50% of all marriages fail.&quot; Yes, statistically. Not among people I know, who are mostly college educated, married after age 30, and financially stable. I only know a handful of divorces. And I'm late 40s, so I'm through the &quot;starter marriage&quot; divorces (&lt;5 years, no kids), and the &quot;kids killed us&quot; divorces (2 or more kids, intimacy died plus conflict over money/parenting ramped up). I know there's at least one more round of &quot;empty nest&quot; divorces that I haven't gotten to yet, but it's still pretty remarkable how many marriages I know that seem to be cruising pretty well through middle age.

Among the open marriages I know, only one has survived. They have kids and seem really solid. I also think one of them might have a personality disorder. The other open marriages I know either closed back up after a few years, or ended. In two of the cases where it ended, one of the partners wound up with a person they met while dating in their open marriage.

I don't know, not an amazing advertisement. I get why it makes sense in theory, but I think in execution, very few marriages (or people) are built for it.

Anyway, not appalled at all -- I think it's worth giving it a shot if divorce is the alternative. But OP is asking about &quot;success&quot; in open marriages and I think that's hard to find honestly. Unless success means &quot;discovering we want to be with other people&quot; or &quot;getting a break from monogamy before recommitting&quot;. But I don't see a ton of long term open marriages with kids that are stable and loving and go the distance, which is what I think OP wants. I think that's a unicorn.[/quote]

I could have written exactly what you did. Same view point.

And yet, of the couples I know that are still together, which is most of them, many have infidelity, some known and often not. While it's not ethical, it seems like sneaking around somehow has a higher success rate at keeping the marriage together Perhaps don't ask don't tell would work for OP[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics