Reply to Couples who keep separate finances - how do you decide who pays when you go out to eat?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

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+1[/quote]

I’m sure this works for you. But I just can’t imagine the dynamic where I say “I’ll get this one” to my spouse. That seems very different than having a joint account where you contribute different amounts etc. I don’t want to think about separate finances every time we spend money. That’s like a casual friend. [/quote]

I'm the first PP - and it's not something we talk about. Usually he just picks up the check without mentioning it, and sometimes I throw my credit card down. It's really not an issue for us.

We were older when we got married - late 30s - and had different sorts of spending and debts at the time. I had a ton of student debt still (in my late 30s) and he had some credit card debt. It seemed easier and less stressful for us to manage those as we had been, once we married. We do have a joint account but we don't draw bills out of it or pay a CC from it, it's where we keep some savings. We still keep separate credit cards because we both enjoy that bit of privacy and autonomy.

At the time, we earned roughly equal. Since that my husband, thank the gods, has gone on to double his salary while I have not. So he just pays for more stuff - and is also the one who takes care of our household bills. We don't think of it as "now I pay, now you pay, you owe me $$."

I don't know if that makes sense. Frankly, I'm just grateful he's ok with this situation[b] because I am definitely the one who benefits more from it[/b]![/quote]

You shouldn't have to say that right? I'd hate it if my spouse uses that word to describe our marriage. [/quote]

I don't *have* to say it but it's reality and I don't see any reason to ignore it. One of the many, many things I love and appreciate about my husband is that thanks to him I live a more comfortable life than I otherwise would. We don't have any weird sort of tit for tat about it - and he never says a word about it - but I don't see how I can pretend that isn't the case.[/quote]

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