Reply to Did you/would you tell your child you used a donor egg?

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[quote=Anonymous]My older brother has a different father than me. My father adopted my brother when he was a baby (before I was born) and while my parents didn't really keep it a secret, it wasn't exactly discussed either. I was about 9 or 10 when I put it all together (I was nosey and found paperwork) and I remember being absolutely shocked. I do feel my brother felt differently and it just highlighted the ways that he and I were different from one another. We always fought, and there were lots of other complicating factors (totally different personalities to start), but it just seemed to drive a wedge. We love each other but to this day we aren't close either. I also had a challenging relationship with my mom in the teen and early adult years. If I had come across something like this later on (and honestly especially if I were the genetically unrelated one), it would have been very difficult for me to process and it would have strained the relationship so much further than it already was.

Also, for whatever else it's worth, I would consider adoption and/or DE in a heart beat if it came to that. I respect that this is such an emotionally loaded topic for those who have used DE, but I just wanted to put out a cautionary tale from an adult child's perspective. I would respectfully recommend disclosure early and often.[/quote]

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