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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Never invited to anything.  Mom had an affair and left to live with AP (been many years now).  We still get calls for money from all of them but that's about it.  I think they finally got it we are not giving money beyond what Mom gets given the divorce was 30 years ago.  I can see them coming after me or us/when one of us passes.  Mom came after us when we got married so I'd pay her child support (judge threw it out).  If mom wants to pretend dad doesn't exist and AP is dad she should stop taking our money.[/quote]

Honestly, this is horrible.  You are punishing the kids for mom’s behavior.  Also, doesn’t make sense - the divorce was 30 years ago but you are still paying bioMom?  Child support to the parent stops at 21. Are you paying alimony?  Profits from a business?  That’s money properly owed to Mom for whatever term and it is not for the kids but to compensate mom for her equity not provided at divorce.

If it’s been 30 years since the divorce and your step kids only call for money, that’s highly reflective of the quality of relationship you have (or haven’t) built with the kids.

I feel sorry for the kids. [/quote]

Actually child support stops at 18.  What business?  My husband paid alimony for 15 years and their marriage was only 9.  He also paid child support way past 18 so there was no drama till she took him/us to court after two were over 18 as she felt my income should be included in the child support calculation.  When spouse retired, she also got 1/2 his pension that started when they were in their late 30's for the rest of her/his life.  She's been equally paid off and why shouldn't she be held accountable for her behavior.  She destroyed the relationship with Dad and with herself.  All the kids are pretty messed up thanks to her in their own way.  You shouldn't be rewarded for cheating and moving in with your AP.  After 20+ years, why can't he take responsibility for her, marry her so she can get his insurance and her financially support her.  You think its fair that she cheated, they divorced after 9 years of marriage, because she cheated and choose to be with the AP, and he has to pay for the rest of his life?

I feel sorry for the kids too.   They had a pretty crappy childhood with mom and lost their father.  The AP was a really bad replacement for Dad.

I also feel bad for the kids that she didn't teach them any financial responsibility and the one that had the most hope for is in a marriage that his wife is openly cheating on him (the example mom set) and is heavily in debt.  He cannot leave the marriage or reality is he'll get all the debt and have to pay child support/alimony that he cannot afford and probably lose the kids as well.  Its truly sad to see the next generation repeating their parents mistakes.[/quote]

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