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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - Why don’t just you go over tomorrow night with dinner to go for your dad.  Maybe bein with him alone in his home you can have a real conversation and try to see and listen to what he is saying. You can see how things are and perhaps a cleaning service to come and o a deep cleaning would be an equalizer for the present or a new housekeeper.   You do need the present person ‘s number and you should have a hand in any future hiring where you coukd lit specific tasks such as changing his bed, doing the laundry, etc.  A weekly visit might make sense to keep a second set of eyes on him, too.  Dh needs to step up a bit more with the kids to get your dad straight or at least to try to.

Another thought is if you have not done so, it is time to go through your mom’s clothes and things.  It might also be time for you to find time to help dad sort through other things in the house.  Decluttering now over time will reduce stress if having to deal with things later.  Also, consider helping your dad set up a weekly routine of being out doing something with ir at least around other folks such as going to a senior center, community center or gym for a regular fitness activity.  Going to programs at the library or to a church service.  Explore with your dad uf he might like to join a service club ir try volunteering somewhere.  He is still relatively young, but likely has been caring for mom and out if touch with others.

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