Reply to I didn't grow up with my birth family because of the Baptists

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was adopted.

My birth mother grew up poor in Sorth Carolina. Her big family was very Baptist. So when she got pregnant, she had to go to an unwed mother's home and give me up. I was considered a worthless b@stard and so her devout parents would have disowned her if they ever found out. She hid it and a friend helped her get to the unwed more home.

I have since identified my birth parents. I know which church she went to. It is my fantasy to go there and denounce them. I want to embarrass and punish them.

What would you do? They still push the no sex before marriage BS. Only the women and children suffer.

I grew up without my family because of their preaching.

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Where did her family think she was for 9 months while she was at the unwed mother’s home? That’s a long time to be in hiding from your family. What about your dad? Do you know where he is?

Do you think your mom loved you and did the best she could? At that time it wasn’t just “the baptists” who didn’t like children being born out of wedlock. It was American society as a whole.

“The parents of Wilson-Buterbaugh and Ellerby were ashamed and embarrassed about their daughters’ pregnancies, a typical reaction for most families at the time.”

The maternity homes where ‘mind control’ was used on teen moms to give up their babies

https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2018/11/19/maternity-homes-where-mind-control-was-used-teen-moms-give-up-their-babies/

I grew up in the late 60s and at that time, it wasn’t just religious people who sent their unwed and pregnant daughters away.

You have a lot of anger about something that you are focusing on “the Baptists” when it wasn’t just baptists forcing girls to give up their babies. 
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She was not a teen. She was living on her own a couple states away. My dad was a player -- yes they had those back then -- who slept around as much as he could. I have a few siblings and none of us have the same mothers.

My mother should have had support from her family. She didn't have it because of the toxic Southern Baptist culture. Maybe she still would have chosen to give me up. That's fine. Maybe she would have chosen abortion. That is fine as as well.

Because I have access now to some of her letters I am so angry on her behalf.

My birth parents are both dead now.

[/quote]

If your mom was living independently a couple states away from her family and an adult, no church or no baptist made her do anything. She wasn’t living in her parent’s home as an adult. She had her own home. Nobody was going to kick her out of her home. She wasn’t attending the baptist church you want to show up at and attack and blame everyone for your circumstance. If your mom told nobody in her family what was happening on her life, she didn’t even give them a chance to help. She didn’t have to worry about the baptist church judging her from a few states away.

Homes for unwed mothers were common in American society at the time of your birth. It’s unfortunate, but take your life and do something good with it. You only get one life. You can’t change the past. Your mom made her choice and you have a choice to make too. Don’t live your life in anger and hatred. [/quote]

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