Reply to Monitoring College Freshman Assignments/Grades

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Same kid here. ADHD. I do some monitoring but I hired a tutor to help organize and monitor. I agree that it shouldn’t be this way but for some kids it is.[/quote]

Unfortunately, those with neuro-typical kids do not understand that kids with ADHD/Anxiety/all that coexists with these does mean you may have to still be a tiny bit more hands on, even in college, especially the first year.

To the person who said "Jesus", you obviously do not have a kid with ADHD.  Lucky you! congratulations!

I have a college senior who managed HS with just tutoring and had a 3.6GPA.  Had always suspected ADHD but had no reason to get the diagnosis as kid managed.  My kid was diagnosed during freshman year, as situation dictated we needed a diagnosis finally.  I let my kid manage most things himself, but stepped in to check in and remind him to stay on track.  I did NOT track assignments.  Just made sure kid got the assistance due to them from the office of disabilities and made sure kid visited office hours and encouraged them to map out assignments so kids was not stuck doing 3 major projects on the same night.

Know what---freshman year can be a HUGE change.  over 1K miles from home, kid getting C/Ds for first time ever and this after kid was actually being organized and studying hard/visiting office hours.  Kid needed my guidance to help them decide on new major when it was apparent original major (medical area) was not going to be healthy or work out.  Even with all of that first year, kid is graduating, has a great first job (which kid found all by themselves, without any parental connections) and will graduate with an almost 3.5gpa (considering what first year was it's quite impressive).

I'm all for not being a helicopter parent, but when your kid has ADHD, sometimes we do need to check in a bit more with them than a neuro-typical kiddo. And that's ok.  My kid was ready to go 1K+ miles from home and loved their experience.  Grew up alot, learned alot, and by now I only do things when kid asks me to.    But you can bet, I still reminded them to order cap/gown for graduation and to sign up for tickets for the family---because I don't want to miss out if kid missed deadline.  I help with 95% less than I did 4 years ago. But as their mom, I will still do what little is needed to prop them up and help them "Adult" well.

And no, I'd never contact their job or boss.  But I will remind my kid to pay their rent and auto insurance/etc for the first 4-5 months they are Adulting on their own.  In an apartment in a new town, no roommates.    They don't just become full adults at age 18 or at age 22.  If you do it right, what you assist with/guide is less and less each month/year
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