Reply to Do you attend your stepchildren’s events?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH's ex doesn't want to face the fact that my DC and I exist. We've seen DH's ex once in the last five years, at their oldest DS high school graduation last year. We don't get invites to birthdays, sporting events etc. [/quote]

Your DH’s ex is under no obligation to you.  She married and divorced your DH and isn’t obligated by his decisions after his relationship with her.   Why do you expect invites to anything?  If you want to celebrate his daughter’s birthday, organize a party for her. If you want to go to a sports event, Dad can ask daughter about the schedule and say you all will attend. It is not the birth mom’s obligation to be the cruise director for your relationship with your own stepdaughter. She does not owe you any emotional labor.

Personally, I divorced my DH because he is a liar and extremely unreliable. I had no interest in meeting his wife, who quickly convinced him to visit his own children less often and cut child support for them and refuse to contribute to college.  I have zero interest in pretending to be happy family with someone who has a demonstrated track record of not having my children’s interests at heart.  I am very polite to DH and have never spoken ill of his new wife, but I am not obligated to play ball in his fantasy big happy family game.  He is responsible for his own relationship with his children and he and his wife, having invested so little time and effort with his kids, are experiencing the natural consequences -  a return proportional to their efforts. [/quote]

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