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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life. 
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless  mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.[/quote]

Why didn’t you choose a lucrative career path and work towards promotions? I say this as a female breadwinner. When I met my husband he made $20k as a post-doc. He’s not super ambitious and I didn’t know if he’d ever get a “real” job. I didn’t care because I knew I could support us. He has since become a GS-15 and that has allowed me to step back and stagnate in my career while our kids are young. [/quote]

PP here. I was never particularly ambitious and wanted to be a mom. My husband had a good degree so I assumed he'd make a respectable 150k or so in a few years. Well, that did not happen. He also had 200k graduate school debt which would also swallow our already small salary. We never felt secure enough to have a baby in those years as neither of us had parental help or a safety net to fall back on and meager savings. Between paying rent, his school loans and groceries we would have nothing left over. We could not imagine adding a baby to the mix. I grew increasingly angry and resentful as that wasn't the life I had signed up for. I had hoped to be a mother within 1-2 years of being married.

Well...life had other plans.

My husband became tired of living paycheck to paycheck and started his own consulting business. Last year he made 320k, this year he has made 150k so far. If things keep going this way, I guess we can finally TTC. But I have learned from my smarter friends who weeded out high paid men while dating. They have it all. The house, the children, the relatively stress free life.

[b]Of course, if I was ambitious on my own, I wouldn't have cared as much, but for a family minded woman, prioritizing a man with a well paid income is very important. Interestingly, my friends who make money are not interested in someone who makes less either. [/b]
[/quote]

Lol, so women who don't make a lot of money want a man who makes a lot of money.  And women who make a lot of money also want a man who makes a lot of money.  I'm starting to notice a theme here.[/quote]

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