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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a first generation Taiwanese-American who never spoke English in the home. I was a toddler when we came and my brother was born soon after our arrival. By American standards, my parents earned lower middle class incomes and never lost their accents. Our finances were tight enough that my brother and I earned/paid the entire family contributions for our college financial aid packages. But, our parents  attended the top college in Taiwan where they studied social sciences. We didn't own very many books but we went to the public library as often as the grocery store. Our family vacations were road trips and we only stayed at crappy roadside motels, but we visited almost every state in the lower 48. They invited nearly everyone they met to dinner at our little house from my elementary school custodian to my college advisor and hundreds of random strangers and that taught us to treat every guest with the same high respect and appreciation. My parents never pushed us towards STEM or any particular occupation or to make money because they believed we should do what excited us. When I got into skateboarding, my dad snuck into an empty pool to see my tricks. And my mom would listen to my brother's favorite albums just to learn about what he liked. Grades didn't matter nearly as much as our intellectual curiosity, kindness, character and social well-being. I doubt that they'd have been wealthier back in Taiwan but they certainly would have had higher social status. We received little in the way of material advantages, but they cultivated an openness to new experiences and ideas and an appreciation for the great diversity of America. I think those attitudes from our upbringing were instrumental in our academic and career success. My sibling and I are trying to give our kids the kind of upbringing we had and we have wondered whether the advantages we have now makes it harder.   [/quote]

This both really resonates and contrasts with my experience -- also first generation Asian American with a similar frugal, library-filled upbringing, except (1) my family cared about grades and pushed us to "do what we love as long as it's in STEM (high paying/stable)", (2) parents made it to UMC in our teens and could afford to send my sister and me to HYP undergrad + grad schools, and (3) my dad in particular was not a particularly kind, social or open person to those outside our family -- I think being an immigrant with language struggles made him a bit paranoid, even though he absolutely prefers living in America.

While my sister and I are both outwardly well educated and financially successful adults, we have a lot of mental health / career / existential issues from our upbringing that we're still working through (and is partly what leads me to read DCUM forums like this even though I don't think it's very healthy for me  :shock: ). Luckily DH's upbringing was more like yours and we're hoping to build stronger, healthier values for our own little family. [/quote]

It's impressive that your dad struggled with the language but yet made it to umc in your teens. What was your parents occupations? [/quote]

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