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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a White sahm and curious why it’s so rare in the Indian community. If your DH makes enough as a ‘physician/banker/attorney’ why not sahm for a few years at least? I don’t get the shame in it.[/quote]

I'm Eastern European and it's taboo for us too.  It's a sign of being uneducated or poorly educated (low ranked college or only college). My mom has a PhD in a hard science and believes that SAH is akin to dementia,  as the brain drops its plasticity by not being challenged enough. We're also used to hiring a lot of help and there is no shame in outsourcing any menial tasks. I have friends from high school who have never changed a diaper or cooked a meal and our kids are college aged.  [/quote]

This sounds so Eastern European. my husband is EE and one of my closest friends is as well... they both have mothers who are well established in the hard sciences (physician and scientist) and also can't understand staying at home -- I honestly think it is related those women coming of age during communism and adhering to the value of everyone contributing to the workforce.

FWIW -- OP, I'm Indian American (though not AT ALL traditional), married to an Eastern European Electrical Engineer (EEEE, lol). I stayed home with my kids when they were babies, though I also freelanced and then wrote a book. The closest friend I made during that time is a white american who had a PhD but also stayed home (she is actually married to an Indian American physician), though now she is starting a business.  Take that all for what it is. There are lots of paths. Do what feels right to you and you'll find your people. Don't worry about judgement.

All of the parents (my IA parents, my EE MIL) were really, really happy that I stayed home when the kids were babies, but always held the expectation that I would work again once they were 3+. I do think kids to benefit from a SAH mom when they are really young. After that, it's debatable.

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