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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did the first year end up for the class of 2025 and parents?!

I can’t believe the year is almost done. Little over two weeks of classes left and then finals for mine. It was a year of amazing growth both academically and socially for one. For the other (twins obviously), it was a year of sickness and injury. I can count on one hand how many weeks they were healthy since august  drop off. Very tough year because of dealing with that and the transition.

Lessons learned:
1. More vitamins and meds on hand for the inevitable sicknesses. Also air filter.
2. We were told not to succumb to the pressure to rent an apartment for sophomore year in October but in reality that IS when you need to book
Something if you’re at a large state school. Glad the kids found a place then as there is nothing good left this spring.
3. Encourage the kids to bring home fall clothes at Thanksgiving and winter clothes at Easter.
4. Don’t stress about their grades. Don’t even ask. Trust me they are plenty stressed about it without you adding to it. If they stay out all night drinking and miss a class or an assignment, they will learn from their mistakes.  Freshman year is going to be hard, don’t expect As even if your kid has never gotten worse than an A.
5. [b]The piece of advice I have my kids when I left them at drop off was, “don’t be the drink freshman passed out on the bathroom floor”. Happy to say they never were and in fact are quite proud of that. Overall drinking has slowed down but those first few weeks (really until Midterms) were pretty out of control for many kids.
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Who else wants to report?[/quote]

Why and how would you know this?  And why would you believe you know everything that is going on even if you are pressing for them to tell you or asking these questions in the first place?  [b]What normally developing 18 or 19 year old tells mommy about drinking at college.  So odd to me[/b].

Yes, have conversations about drinking.  Don't drink something you haven't poured or opened yourself, don't leave your drink, don't leave your friends behind, etc.  But honestly you people should not be this involved in the details.[/quote]

Strikes me as odd that you don't talk to your kids about drinking or presumably anything else?  I guess you were probably the poster last fall who proudly said they dropped off the kid and didn't expect to hear from them until break.

I talk to my kids, they trust me to they tell me things. They know I will not judge them. They ask for advice. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have that relationship with their kids.[/quote]

Did you see the part where I said that I have conversations with my kids about drinking?  It was right there so hopefully you did.  I just don't believe that my college freshman is giving me the blow by blow of all their experiences with alcohol in college, nor do I think they should.   I think those of who you think this is happening have your heads pretty far up your asses.

My approach is ask open-ended questions.  Don't pry.  Don't judge.  And they will tell you a lot, but I don't delude myself it's everything.  Set them up to know your values and hopefully have your voice in their head of whatever wisdom you've given them when they make their own decisions.  Set them up to trust themselves and know they can handle things.  Hope for the best and catch them when they fall and need help.  But my opinion is they need to live life and make mistakes and figure it out and sorry mom, sometimes that won't involve you when they are 18.  And if it does, you have not done your job leading up to this age.

[/quote]

To clarify above, if they involve you in just day-to-day executive functioning skills at that age, you have not done your job leading up to this age.  Of course they will still need you.  And of course you will talk to them.  I talk to mine regularly.  But no they shouldn't need you to figure out how to manage a cold or sign up for classes or sort out their housing options.  And  if they drink too much the night before and feel really crappy and hungover, maybe not your lane either.  Are some of you rushing a greasy egg and cheese sandwich via Uber Eats for the morning after??[/quote]

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