Reply to Found out today that my MIL deeply resents me

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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t think anyones behavior here makes sense. Just from a common sense point of view driving 6 hrs to take someone out to dinner sounds completely ridiculous and exhausting.

Does MIL do this often? Is she does it sounds like she is overextending herself and this might suggest poor boundaries, people pleasing, codependency etc…

Do you guys speak up and either offer her to stay the night or meet half way or something? Not saying you absolutely should but it seems a little silly to not at least bring it up and collaborate on logistics so one person is not driving 6 hours for a darn meal. Maybe this is you guys take turns driving, meet half way, spend the night etc…

Not saying anyone is right or wrong here but details point to there being a lot of personalities and less than ideal boundaries interplaying here.

Also as details come out in this thread it sounds like both of you have resentments and don’t have this awesome relationship after all. Maybe it is awesome when all is smooth but it sounds like there is difficulty in being honest with each other in pleasant ways when one of you is dissatisfied. Maybe there is people pleasing on both sides and now you both resent each other because you’ve gone “out of your way” to accommodate the other only to discover the other person is actually not that pleased. And now you are somehow upset about that because you went out of your way and maybe you get uncomfortable when ppl are upset with you?

Not sure but I sense the unworkability comes from all parties involved, not just MIL.[/quote]

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