Reply to I’m getting a lot of pressure to name my baby names I hate.

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[quote=Anonymous]I went through nearly the exact same thing with my husband, though it was his mother who died and he wanted to name our baby after. I of course considered it, but I just straight up do not like the name. In fact, I kinda hate it. It’s just (IMHO) a boring, blah, ugly name. But my husband had his heart set on it.

It was really, really tough for us. At the end of the day, you both need full veto power. You need to find a name you both like. So I agree with you - if you don’t like the name, you don’t have to use it. Don’t let yourself get pressured to use a name you really dislike. I do think offering to use it as a middle name is a kindness and a pretty small concession. That’s what we ended up doing.

But, having been through this (it was honestly the biggest fight we’ve ever had) one thing to watch out for is how this is intertwined with your husband’s grieving process. It’s so, so hard to lose a parent, and in some ways, to do so in the shadow of having a baby (especially if it’s your first) is even harder. It’s really an emotional rollercoaster. What helped us was my husband getting into grief therapy. That gave him space to process and find other outlets for our grief. He got past it, and your husband will, too.

My in laws never were involved, it was just my husband who was obsessed with the name, but that’s the east part. If your MIL brings it up, you just say “Larlo and I are considering it” and refuse to engage, that’s easy.

Best of luck and congrats.

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