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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Six months from now you will be kicking yourself for not taking action NOW. Definitely alcohol abuse. Likely affair induced. It is a thing, OP, and he’s likely using alcohol to cover the guilt and self-loathing that accompanies his adulterous encounters. You need to take action NOW: check his texts, review credit card statements, hire a PI, nail down all assets, lawyer up.[/quote]

I agree. He has broken your trust by repeatedly gaslighting you. You have not only yourself to think of but also your child.  You do not owe it to him to remain willfully blind. His lying to you is a choice he is making because either he doesn’t understand why he is drinking or he knows telling you the truth will mean you will make a decision he doesn’t like.

Do not blind yourself.  Knowledge is power for both of you. Search every inch of the house from top to bottom. All parts of closets, drawers, cushions, crawl spaces, utility closets, etc.  Count and subtly mark the liquor bottles that are out.  Count and track over time your prescription medications. Thoroughly examine all joint statements - why is money going out? Not only to what payee, but how much cash is being taken out and at what locations. Keep track if where he says he’s going and what he says he’s doing and make sure it matches reality (mileage, time away, spending, etc.). Check the computer history.  If you have access to phone check texts and DMs in apps.  If he leaves his email open, read it. Look at cellphone records and reverse search numbers.  Put a key logger on any computer you can.

I did this when I thought my DH had a drinking problem, and boy did I find out a lot I didn’t know and that he would never tell me or actively lied to cover up.

I preferred to know what was truly going on and make decisions based on that. In the end, after understanding what I was really dealing with, I was able to make good decisions for myself and my kids. Decisions that let us lead healthy lives, and which allowed me to look back without regret at my choices. [/quote]

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