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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you are mourning the loss of what you thought you had with your sibling, but also with the family you thought you had. It's confusing when the people you expect to be supportive are not.

My story is a little different. I have distanced myself from a sibling I was never close to who vacillated being cruel or just ignoring me during childhood and I barely saw her in adulthood. Once she realized she needed family to attend events or give her kid cousins or that sort of thing, then suddenly she wanted to be BFFs. She also asked for quite a few favors and had no concept of how time consuming they were. I found her needy and self-absorbed in general when she wasn't competitive or giving me jabs or doing passive aggressive things. Eventually there were major disagreements with eldercare and her trying to boss me around and I distanced more.

The family went nuts. You would think we had been BFFs forever. There was no real relationship. Basically for me the relationship is either giving or enduring insults and slights so not reciprocal in any way. Well she would tell you she sends me gifts (I didn't ask for). Those gifts have been broken items, used clothes for my kids with stains-that sort of thing. Basically unwanted recycled landfill clutter.

So yeah for me the issue is-stop gaslighting me into thinking there ever was a meaningful relationship. I haven't cut off. If anything I am just trying to go back to the status quo of barely seeing her. Our children are different ages and there is no real connection. I too would like to run away from my family. I just like peace. I have a good marriage and family life with the family I created. The rest just cause drama.[/quote]

Omg I could’ve written this exact story.  Narcissistic backstabbing sister  and parents who fawn all over her and rail on me if I ever said anything. I’ve learned my lesson. Boundaries and letting go. It’s sad but I try to remember that you just can’t control others, even if it’s just wanting everyone to be nice and genuine.

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