Reply to Having a hard time coping with being cut out of my sibling's life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not your siblings fault. You should have secured an attorney in the meantime, just in case, and you could have switched if your sibling pulled through. But, come on, you dropped the ball and twiddled your thumbs in the midst of your own emergency. [/quote]

Perhaps. And I regret not getting an attorney right away. I took my sinking at their word and was afraid to seek another attorney after sinking became angry with me for being impatient. I didn’t want them to be angry. Of course now I see the irony of that and regret it deeply. [/quote]

That's just now how these things works. It's not like a recommendation for a plumber. If you have a crisis you need to act fast, ask multiple people for referrals, do your own research, you have to look out for yourself as an adult. [/quote]

I hear you and I certainly regret not being more proactive. I was stunned by the crisis and was grateful for the help.  It taught me a lesson that I quite literally paid dearly for. And for me, I don't offer help unless I can follow through and/or communicate if I can't deliver the help I promised. With that, the fact that my sibling didn't simply come to me and say that attorney friend couldn't / wouldn't assist is a mystery. [/quote]

People are flaky. When someone says they can help, or "have a guy" more often than not they aren't going to follow through on that, even family. It's nice if they do, but I wouldn't sit back and wait for the help to come pouring in. If this was a serious legal issue you would probably want to go with a trusted name, someone successful in that area of expertise, [b]not just some rando your sibling knows[/b]. Same for any serious medical issues. This situation called for more proaction, which obviously now you are aware. But, again, what exactly did you say or do after this didn't pan out the way you wanted? You must have seriously offended and insulted your sibling over something that was a crisis on your end, not theirs.[/quote]

This wasn't a "rando" - to the contrary. This attorney friend is well-regarded. Again, the offer was one the sibling made and I could have and would have paid for counsel. My expectation wasn't free legal advice. Again, would do it differently next time.

When my sibling announced that attorney friend said "it's not a thing" - advice that isn't accurate or credible - and time had run out for more substantive advice, I was upset yes. I asked my sibling why they didn't say something earlier if they weren't able to get more substantive guidance. Yes, I was upset, I was in tears and exhausted from a two-week period that was incredibly stressful. My sibling also knew what was at stake - one of the reasons they offered to assist initially.

To your point that it was a crisis on my end, yes it was. My sibling offered to help - I didn't ask for help initially. If the roles were reversed, I would want to help my sibling in a time of crisis. While my sibling doesn't owe me anything, I've also been there for them during numerous crises in their lives. I rarely - if ever - ask for help from them. [/quote]

for the love of everything holy, just say "he" and "my brother"  Stop with the "they" and "my sibling"...it's crazy-making. you already slipped up and did so in a previous post anyway. sigh. [/quote]

So what? Clearly the OP is sensitive to identifying too many specifics and explained why. Does it make you feel good to play gotcha?[/quote]

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