Reply to What did you think having 3 kids and working full time would be like?

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Reply to "What did you think having 3 kids and working full time would be like?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well I'll bite. We had three very intentional kids (IVF) and while I love it and think the chaos has enabled me to loosen up in some weird way, it basically broke my spouse and now we're divorcing. So I guess I regret having a third even though I can't imagine life without her. There's a lot of things I would have done differently, even after having 3 kids.[/quote]

Could you expand on this a bit?  What do you think you could have done differently?[/quote]

I will take the blame for not heeding the warning signs from my spouse (anxiety, irritability) before I had our third. We were probably already stretched thin regarding the time we were able to devote to one another. I also think, ideally, we might have moved to a lower COL area so that I could stay home with the kids during daycare years, because we're dealing with a some financial strain, and doing so would have also enabled me to do more around the house so that the evenings could be a little less chaotic (which isn't to say I don't do a lot now, but it probably would have helped). Couples therapy before things took the turn they did would have also helped. Bottom line/advice to others is to make sure you are both completely on the same page and make sure your marriage is solid and everyone is in a good place mentally/psychologically before adding another human to your family. And I recognize how that should be a no-brainer.

To answer the other person, spouse had/is having a midlife crisis-style exit affair and wants out. It's a hard pill to swallow... witnessing the dismantling of my so-very-wanted family. [/quote]

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