Reply to What did you think having 3 kids and working full time would be like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The empathy is strong with this one[/quote]

Not OP but I think it's weird to have a lot of kids, then struggle with having a lot of kids, and then expect a lot of empathy for those struggles. It's not the 1800s -- no one is forcing you to have lots of children.

Our friends and family members with 3+ kids tend to complain about parenting a lot more and expect a lot more accommodations, and it was okay at first because obviously I can see that having more kids is harder than having fewer. But over time, you run out of empathy and willingness to accommodate. You get tired of always having to defer to the family with the most kids on venue, timing, and type of gathering because they have more schedules to juggle. And always having to listen to them explain how traveling, or meals, or school stuff, or sleeping arrangements is harder with more kids. Like yes, I see that, but also, I stopped caring at some point.

If you have 3+ kids and are managing fine, aside from the odd frustration, great! But my experience is that families like this are just an endless stream of scheduling nightmares and issues with the kids (the second one kid's food allergies gets solved, they've got another kid with a developmental issues, and every conversation revolves around this endless litany of parenting concerns).

One of my friends with 3 kids recently said to me "Wow it just seems like you've got it all figured out -- you never complain about this stuff!" And I didn't say it because I don't want to be rude, but that's not it. I have parenting struggles like everyone. But my stress level is overall lower and my capacity for resolving these struggles without needing to complain to everyone I know for months is higher, because I have fewer kids. It's more manageable. I'm not super mom and my kids aren't unusually easy. I just had fewer kids. It's my secret parenting hack, I guess.[/quote]

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