Reply to How many nights to stay when moving kid into dorms? Advice BTDT please

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "How many nights to stay when moving kid into dorms? Advice BTDT please"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]If possible, I'd try to arrive the day they move in. They will be feeling a bit anxious and that night in a hotel with parents might make that worse. It's not the end of the world if that's how it works, but it's better to arrive and immediately be able to unload the car and start getting them settled. Plus the moving-in part is a logistical puzzle and it's nice for everyone to focus on that, meeting roommates and hall mates, etc. instead of focusing on any emotions that might be going on.

As for how long you stay after they move in, I think they standard is one night. BUT I will admit we stayed two, though we just had dinner on our own that second night while DD went to orientation events, and did a quick bagel on campus that last morning before we headed out.

Why the extra night? Two reasons. The first is that we didn't know the area around her campus or the city that well, and the extra day gave us some time on our own to explore. We will be visiting often over the next few years and we wanted to get to know the area, figure out where we like to stay, identify some cafes and restaurants we like or would be interested in returning to. This takes some of the pressure off DD when we visit. She can suggest things if she wants, but doesn't have to. And we can be a bit more self-sufficient and less reliant on her in terms of how we schedule our own time during visits, especially if she has class or other stuff going on. My parents were always terrible about this when I was young and I would have to stop everything to focus on helping them figure out stuff like where to buy a paper or where my dad could get good coffee, and I was too young to do that kind of hosting well.

The second reason was just in case she had a freak out and needed a last minute pep talk or visit. She's really good at "fake it til you make it" and generally acclimates to new social settings quickly by just pretending she could care less at first. But you never know. This is a big change. She acted pretty chill but she also gave us really intense hugs that last morning before we left. I never regret spending a little more time with my kid. We didn't want to hover or linger too long, but just being in town and having one last goodbye after all the stress and busyness of move in and first meeting people was over was nice.

She's doing great now and whatever homesickness she's had has not made the transition too difficult for her. We talk once a week and text occasionally and she seemed relaxed and happy and proud at Thanksgiving and Christmas.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics