Reply to DH's sister wants to take a vacation with us but exclude her parents...wwyd?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You said the parents only want to vacation on their terms, it has to be everyone all together.  They won't go if you offered to do a long weekend another time or if they came for 3 or 4 days at the start/end of a sibling vacation.

If they truly wanted everyone to enjoy vacation and truly wanted to make others happy, they would be willing to compromise.  What they truly want is to control everyone.  This behavior would extend to the vacation.  They would expect meal times, day trips, activities to be what they want when they want it.  Your SIL knows this and doesn't want to put up with it.

It is a shame you are depriving your SIL, her brother, & cousins from having a relationship outside of one controlled by the parents.  Everyone should be unhappy so the parents can get what they want.  Mentally healthy parents wouldn't want that for their adult kids and families.

You just want to protect your husband's "golden child" status.  If he really could do no wrong, he could go on the vacation and they wouldn't hold it against him.

[/quote]
I suspect OP’s DH isn’t actually the “golden child,” he is just a people pleaser that his parents take for granted.  They are chasing the affections of their daughter, who is that sense is the real “golden child.”  If her DH was the favored child, the ILs would have gone on vacation with just OP’s family, but instead the ILs rejected a vacation with just them as not good enough if it didn’t also include SIL and her family.

I think OP’s real concern here isn’t her DH losing golden child status, it’s that she knows her DH’s standing with the ILs is fragile because he is not the favored child, and they will retaliate against him if they go on vacation with the real favored child because that will make clear that SIL’s rejection of the family vacation was truly only a rejection of her parents.[/quote]

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