Reply to Brushing teeth - so sad I am crying

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm really not trying to be rude, but is it possible you have ADHD?  I do, and I often find myself in this sort of situation, where I've forgotten to monitor the kids doing something that they really should do, and then I get upset and blame them while blaming myself also.

Otherwise, I'm having trouble understanding how you go so far without knowing he wasn't brushing.  At that age, a chart won't really work for an undesired task for most kids -- you need to just make it part of the regular routine that you supervise, up to bed before he gets too tired for jammies and teeth brushing, then he can settle in for books, TV, music or whatever the evening routines are.  If you want to use a chart, you can check it off together.  We had a rule that time spent delaying the teeth brushing/dressing meant less time for stories or whatever else, because we had a hard stop of the book time. SOme kids find it helpful to have a visual or mental cue about how longs it's going to take -- one of those little timers, or a song you sing while they brush, so that they know that they are half-way done, almost done, etc.  I often need that when I'm doing something that is boring or irritating to me.

If it's a real sensory issue, I agree with PP about letting them watch TV while you do it -- that's what dentists do, and what I had to do with my sensory-averse kids with hair brushing.  I think right now you are in a jam because it's not routine---once it becomes a regular routine, the struggle evaporates.  I think I read  somewhere that it takes something like 2 weeks of repeating a routine before it is engrained as habit.

Also, on the chart -- most of the postiive behavioral expert stress that charts can't be too long term for the rewards.  If you went several days or a week without checking the chart, that's a sign that the time frame on it was too long for a 7 year old.  He needs a reward that comes much more quickly. or the incentive is just not there.  Some kids also are just not that motivated by incentives.  That's true for adults too - not every adult is willing to work extra hours for more pay, some are like "nah, I'm good....".  Other kids will work their butt off just for a meaningless gold star sticker.  That's pretty hard-wired, but it means that if you kid is not a gold-star-seeker, charts and such may not work very easily with him.[/quote]

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