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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]really good looking in early 40s. one child. healthy. we have sex once in two months. husband is also in early 40s. he is very loyal and loves me but does not care about sex? can it be true?

Again in a really good shape female 41 years old. I know it's not normal but can men do not care about sex? Does he masturbate? I am lost. [/quote]

Why do you know it’s not normal?

[b]Sexuality exists on a spectrum[/b]. There are a great many people who have little to no interest in sex, a great many more who have a lot of interest in the beginning of a relationship but not much at all as the relationship progresses and middle age arrives. These are all on the spectrum of normalcy.

Whatever else you read here at DCUM, the vast majority of marrieds and long term committed relationship partners are not having steamy hot sex lives. Research consistently shows a fairly low level of sexual activity in such relationships, and even less among the singles you think are out boffing every night. Sexual encounters are even on the decline in the very young and hot and available.

Be happy that you have a good marriage and have built a nice family and home. Get a jackrabbit and a library of soft core porn if you need more orgasms than your husband has interest in. [/quote]
 +1

I don’t know why everyone thinks there’s some “normal” amount of times to have sex, some “normal” way to have sex, much less a “normal” set of approaches over time, as humans change over time (There are so many good books on how sex changes throughout our lives!) And there are many “normal”—though sometimes awful—experiences. I know a couple whose sex life changed a lot after the spouse was the victim of a violent, random attack. I know a couple whose sex life changed after the husband had a medical issue. My own sex life changed after I had my third child. And on and on. It wasn’t about attractiveness, OP.

The question is what do YOU want from your sex life? What does your spouse want? Can you work together to come to something you both like? 
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