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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“S/he died under unfortunate circumstances in 2021”.

People who are not clueless will understand that somewhat vague statement means it’s not open for discussion. People not so sharp might ask what happened, and you can just say you won’t discuss it.[/quote]'

OP, I wouldn't use this language. I'd avoid "unfortunate circumstances." It practically says in bright neon letters "Something unusual happened" and that only makes people start to spin out scenarios in their heads, which could be worse than the reality was. This is language that gets speculation started. While you can't control what people think or how they respond, you can opt not to use words that encourage speculation.

OP, create a script you can use every time. "He/she died (whenever). I'm still processing it, as it was sudden, and I'm sure you'll understand. -- How is Sally's new job going?" Be direct, say you're processing it (that's a softer way to say you don't want to talk), add "I'm sure you'll understand" and then change the topic right away to focus on the other person. If the other person asks, "But what happened?" You can say, "It was unexpected so I'm still finding it hard to discuss." Then a new topic, again.

I"m sorry for your loss, OP. My brother died unexpectedly in 2020 during a routine, outpatient medical procedure he'd had several times previously without issues. A risk each time that was minimal but he was one of the few for whom the minimal risk became a very sudden reality. I am able at least to say, "He died unexpectedly during a routine procedure, so it was surprising, but not shocking. It was very sad for his wife and for us." If you can't give any information at all about your sibling, though, I understand, and I'm sorry. [/quote]

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