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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Everyone knows how someone died if people don’t say how they died. [/b]How can people be so clueless as to ask?

On the flip side, when I mention my mom’s death, I always say “from cancer” so then they don’t have to follow up. [/quote]

No, they don’t. My friend died under unusual circumstances but it was not suicide. That doesn’t mean I want to discuss the details like it’s gossip w people who hardly knew her.[/quote]

Okay, you have some random exception. But yeah 99% of the time, if people are mum, its suicide. [/quote]

No, it's usually either suicide or drug overdose.  Although I don't understand why people are so afraid of mentioning either one.  It doesn't help destigmatize anything.[/quote]

Okay, I agree with that. But I also think that taking drugs is quasi-suicidal behavior. Mentally healthy people don't do it. So there's that. [/quote]

For me, I tell people that my brother died of overdose when they ask what happened. And yes, even if it wasn't deliberate, it really seems like passive suicide.

I hate that's how he died; he was one of the kindest, gentlest, and most generous people I'll ever know. His years-long addiction was a secret - it blew all of our minds to find out about it - and I can't help but feel that if he hadn't been so ashamed to say what was going on that he might still be alive. We're not "the kind of family" that most people would associate with heroin OD and I feel like saying it out loud might not only be authentic but also chip away at what makes it hard for others to say out loud.

I get and respect that others might not be ready to disclose their own experiences, and that's ok too. But if someone asks me what happened to him, I don't elaborate, but I also don't hide or sugarcoat it.[/quote]

+1  Same.  In my case it was a favorite cousin and he died by OD also.  That may be where our similarity ends.  Nicest guy in the world but, holy moly, when he was jonesing for a hit you didn't want to be in his way cuz he would mow down his momma for a few bucks to get it.  Life with an addict can be brutal and all of us in his world knew it.  He was in and out of rehab centers for years.  When he was really on a binge then we had security at his momma's house so he wouldn't break in and rob her blind.  So when people ask about how he died, we tell it flat out as a PSA because we want his life to be a warning to everyone else:  don't go down his path.  He is proof positive that you can have what appears to be everything you could ever need in life but it isn't enough.  RIP cuz.  We miss you but we don't miss the trauma.  We hope you're at peace now.[/quote]

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