Reply to WWYD - my mother uses my house like a free hotel...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh, so my mother crashes at my house EVERY WEEK. My house is closer to an appointment she goes to. She often doesn't even ask, she just tells me she's coming and shows up!

This means that every weekend, she's here for a night and half of the next day.

She does help with the kids, but she's also super intrusive and will do things like try to organize my house, make "innocent" judgey comments, or be pushy about spending time with the kids solo. She also does not listen to me about what to feed the kids - she thinks it's funny to feed them tons of sugar and crap.

This has been going on for years. A couple of months ago, we moved, and in our new house, there isn't a separate apartment for her. There is only the (smaller) main house.

In the new house, she's decided that she doesn't like sleeping on the air mattress that we set up for her in a bedroom, and that instead she will sleep on the living room couch. This feels even more invasive.

Today, she is "trapped here" because of the snow (that she "had no idea" about), so she will have to stay tonight too (ignoring the fact that I asked her at 6:30am before the snow started what her plans were because it was going to snow).

I love my mother and enjoy spending time with her when I feel like I have some choice in the matter. This arrangement worked in our old house, but in our new house, which is smaller, it feels suffocating. If we had a separate guest apartment, I'd feel differently...

I crave full weekends alone with my own family and no guests.

She's very sensitive and dramatic, so I know if I talk with her about this, it could lead to full-on tantrumming/stonewalling/seeing the kids (who love her) much less. It will also make her life much more difficult if she can't stay here, since she will have to book a hotel for those nights.

This gives me so much anxiety! Please help! Wwyd?

[/quote]

If she can babysit, I would get the hell out of there. Go out for date night with your husband or girl friends. Have errands you'd like to run. Whatever![/quote]

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