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[quote=Anonymous]Well, we have had it both ways and I actually prefer having some distance.  We used to live in the same city as both of our families.  We love them, but we also realized that they caused us a lot of stress.  Just trying to balance the time spent with both sides.  If the kids had activities, we would have to figure out who to invite and worry about hurting feelings.  So our kids ended up with an entourage at every single game, program, birthday party and started to become embarrassed by it.  Also, we would see our parents repeat some of the things they did/said to us when we were children that we were not happy about.  Not to mention that it kept us from developing friendships because we would end up spending too much time with family obligations.  So, nothing tragic, but lots of annoyances.

When I was a kid, we lived a few hours from relatives.  We would go visit a few times a year and I LOVED those visits!  Christmas was so special because we would get together with the whole brood, many of which we had not seen all year.  I remember bugging the crap out of my mom constantly asking "who all will be there."  My kids don't have anyone they get to look forward to seeing.  Our Christmas get-togethers were just like the family dinner we had a few weeks before, but with presents.

We ended up moving out here when our kids were 10, 8, and 6.  It has been great.  We have made friends.  Our family and friends from back home actually come visit us and the kids love having house guests and being little tour guides.  When someone happens to be in town for one of the kids' games or recitals, it's actually special to them and they don't take it for granted.  We go back at CHristmas and it feels so warm and cozy.  Everyone is thrilled to see each other and the kids get a full week to hang out with their cousins 24/7.  we go back in the summer for a week and it's the same way.  Since our life is no longer in that city, we have no other obligations so we don't feel burdened or overwhelmed with our moms' non-stop itineraries!  We get to have several days with nothing we need to do but catch up with the family and have fun.

basically, we get to have 2 separate worlds.  And it works for us.

OP, I think you said that you don't have kids yet?  Once you do, you will develop friendships in no time.  Kids have a way of helping their parents make friends.  Try to live somewhere with great neighbors.  You will become each others lifelines.  Good luck.[/quote]

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