Reply to Tips for having good relations with daughter-in-law & son-in-law

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow these truly nail it. It's about boundaries and basic respect. It's also about treating your mental health issues.

My MIL early on alienated anyone who married in with her neediness, drama, skepticism, gossip, guilt trip and manipulation. She refused to ever stay on meds or stay with therapy and it impacted every relationship she had.

We had a good relationship with my parents because they had a life, my dad was a buffer and we all respected boundaries. Even when we moved to the area, they made it clear there would be no dumping the kids overnight on them and a million other things and we respected it all. We had a great run until dad became ill. Mom's boundaries went out the window and she had a long list of demands. No matter how much i did it was never enough. We got her plenty of help and told her we were at peace if she put him in Memory care and we would visit often. Nope. Her anxiety and rage grew and it came out on us. Then the dramas (she was in fights with all sorts of people). Then the manipulations, gaslighting and badmouthing. Her mental health was on the rocks and stayed poor after dad died. If she had just gotten help and stuck with it maybe the relationship would be salvageable. Now we have major boundaries and just make sure she is OK.There is no connection, just some obligation to be there in some capacity. It's one sided and a chore.[/quote]

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