Reply to Wife Has Gained Weight - How To Approach Her About It?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a similar issue with my pregnant wife. I brought it up at her doctors appointment and that seemed to help her. [/quote]

Wait, what? [/quote]

+2 omg hoping this isn’t real. Op, as someone whose weight fluctuates and whose body will never be as small as it once was unless I starve myself and never stop - the whole “worried” about her thing jjst.. woof. If she was eating and exercising the exact same and wasn’t gaining weight, would you be “worried” about her? Probably not. No one was worried about the health of my sister whose diet consisted of Mac and cheese, sandwiches, and plenty of Wendy’s and Taco Bell because she has my moms stellar gene pool and stayed quite skinny. But suddenly family members are very concerned about my “health” when I start to look more like my dad’s side of the family (whose gene pool I clearly pull much stronger for) even though I had a much more varied and most would say diet that include more “healthy” foods.

My point is - the vast majority of people aren’t worried about your health when they point these things out to you. They are worried about you being fat. Because it’s pretty rough in our society to be fat, totally agree, not ideal. And we very much associate weight with health even though like you said, there are a lot of factors. I would just really try to reflect on what you’re actually worried about. It’s also fair that because we all live in this society it does impact us and attraction sometimes at first when our bodies change. I get it. And also, I would say that it’s probably a good time to start accepting that almost no one remains unscathed from their body changing over time. They are meant to change. And sadly, despite huge efforts from many people, research still shows that it’s incredibly hard to keep off weight you have dieted to lose, almost no matter what you do. So you can either continue the yo-yo or try to embrace living a healthy lifestyle for yourself and not your weight.

That’s probably the most helpful thing you can do for your wife. Because shame just makes us have a harder time to actually make healthy choices. [/quote]

This is such a thoughtful response.  Thanks for posting![/quote]

+1[/quote]

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