Reply to Wife Has Gained Weight - How To Approach Her About It?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Wife Has Gained Weight - How To Approach Her About It?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP -- I read what you said about what you have observed. Some advice.

First, do NOT bring up the weight fluctuations. She knows, and she's already thinking about them all the time. The most important thing you said is "I see you tormenting yourself and even when successful with your diets, you're not happy. Maybe you should see a professional to try to get at the underlying issues and who can help you with underlying strategies to cope. It makes me sad to see you unhappy."

You are NOT her dietician or exercise coach, or even her shrink. Many food issues come from a desire for control, and having someone else trying to control you just makes it worse.  My DH was a saint when I went through a period of extremely disordered eating when we were dating, and he never said a thing because he knew I had to figure it out myself.  The one thing he did do is realize that I was the most crazy when I was particularly starving, so he'd just say "hey, let's go out for lunch today. I feel like cheeseburgers".  For some reason, if he said we should have cheeseburgers, I would eat one at the restaurant, and I would be a lot less crazy for a while because I actually had food in me.  But he never said 'you're too thin, why are you doing that, just eat food, you have a disease, stop that, let me take care of this for you, etc". Because I would have doubled down.[/quote]

Good advice. Be real with her that you see how hard it is for her and want to be a support but you can’t commander the situation.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics