Reply to Is this rude? Refusing gparents' gift

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Is this rude? Refusing gparents' gift"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Ignore all these posters saying you are mean to your ILs, are influencing your son, etc, etc.  I take your posts at face value and nothing you've said has indicated and of that nonsense.

1) was your son rude? I tend to think gifts should be accept graciously, but your son is a kid and ge declined in about the most polite way possible. So I wouldn't really wouldn't say it was rude.
2) were the in laws rude? Not for giving the gift, but going on and on during dinner. They should really know better.  Why make your son feel more uncomfortable??
3) not a fan of the "just keep accepting andthen donate" in situations where there is a clear problem of an "aggressive gift giver." (stealing that from another poster!) I think you can do that for random situations, but this is clearly a pattern of over doing it.  It seems really deceiving and a disservice to all.  It's got to be addressed.

Going forward, I'd use this situation to have a chat with your son and the inlaws.
1) to son-  usually the best thing to do is smile and say thank you when someone gIves you a gift because it is the thought that really counts. That said, you understand his position that day. (I think you confirmed in a later post that ge told you why.) and you and his dad are going to talk to his grandparents to try and help find a balance for all involved. And, again, his grandparents love him dearly.

2) to ILs - DS loves you do much. We love you so much. We are really sorry if you felt bad the other night at dinner when DS said no thank you to your gift. (I think you really do feel bad that they probably felt bad, right?). We've since discussed with him that the way he handled that situtation could be considered impolite by many people.  That said, we think we really need to address the underlying issue with you- the abundance of gifts. Let's come up with a solution together. (keep things at their house, reduce amounth of gifts, etc. If THEY ask for ideas other than toys and material items, THEN you could suggest stuff like membership to zoo or science center, iTunes for a game on computer, contribution to 529.)

Good luck.  I'm not in a similar situation but think i would have struggled with the appropriate response/after thoughts, too.  
 [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics