Reply to Is this rude? Refusing gparents' gift

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Based on the types of gifts you describe, your son can't be that old, probably not 7 or 8, the age when most kids develop empathy.  So while it may have technically been rude for him to refuse the gift, I certainly think it is understandable, something that could be used as a teachable moment.  But your inlaws are the adults here, and they crossed the line both refusing your wishes about gifts and making a big deal about it with your son.  It sounds like they equate gifts with love, so perhaps that is what you deal with them on.[/quote]

I agree with this. The grandparents are not respecting a boundary. You asked them to stop and they didn't. You are the parents and they need to respect that.  I also agree with-if you accept it and don't want it-donate it. I think about half the people on here chastizing you are probably grandparents who do the same thing. I think giving gifts is lovely usually and more often than not it's a truly selfless act, but there is such a thing as rude gift giving and/or manipulative gift giving.

Here is what I consider rude gift-giving:
*Giving gifts even though you have been asked not to.
*Giving gifts and expecting anything more than a thank you note.
*Giving part of a gift and then saying you have to come visit me to get the other part.
*Giving a child endless gifts while they visit you and expecting the parents to bring all gifts back on a plane together with pack nplay, luggage, etc
*Giving gifts that go against someone's religion and/or stated valued (e.g. giving a book about Jesus even though the family has decided go raise the child Muslim or if you have stated you don't want gifts with batteries because of all the issues with disposal and what it is doing to the earth and they ignore this)
*Giving a child gifts that are not allowed in the house e.g. violent toys and/or violent video games[/quote]

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