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Reply to "Is this rude? Refusing gparents' gift"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - Thanks to everyone for responding. From all the posts, just like I was conflicted about it, so is everyone else. To this poster: [quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP's kid returned the gift because he hears OP bitching about her ILs and the gifts all of the time so he's taking his cues from her. In addition, because she hates the ILs, she makes the receipt of their gifts unpleasant through her passive aggressive actions: makes the child find a place for it and seems to blame the child for the gift. Grow up, OP! It's not always about you. You clearly don't like your ILs so you're finding fault with their attempts to be loving toward your child. I get it -- it's too many gifts. Suck it up and be polite. Trust me, I've been there. I denigrated the things MIL bought because for some reason, I resented her buying them. I don't do that anymore. Now I let her have the joy of giving my kids stuff. It turns out that once I let my bitterness go, I really like MIL! Who knew? As for the ILs talking about the truck and trying to get the kids to like it. I agree, it's kind of obnoxious, but I'll bet they thought this was going to be the greatest gift and they are really hurt that he didn't want it. I think your child was rude. I'll bet the gift giving slows or stops, which is what you want (I guess). However, I also think you've hurt your ILs and you're going to have to do some work to fix it. Just wait . . . you'll be a MIL someday too. [/quote] This is SO wrong and actually, if you knew me, very funny. First, I don't dislike my MIL or ILs. My MIL and I have a great relationship. We go shopping, do spa days together, chat on the phone all the time, it's actually a GREAT relationship. this is the ONLY thing that I have a problem with. Secondly, I don't take this out on my son - that's ridiculous!! He is growing up and I give HIM the responsibility to take care of his own things. I don't single out ILs gifts and make him find a place for them and take it out on him. I don't want toys lying all over my house. If he gets something - he needs to put it away - bottom line - So, get that judgmental stick out of your ass - This has NEVER been about me. I don't want to raise a spoiled entitled kid - and showering him with so many gifts all the time would do that. So my issue with it has NOTHING to do with me - but all about taking a stand about something that is good for my son! Also, to the person that thought my kid is hearing me bitch about it and taking cues on that - also dead wrong!! Every single time I've brought it up was when MIL and I were out ...aloone... shopping or doing manis or pedis. DH and I have talked about it in bed...at night... long after DS was asleep. So, again -- for you to think "poor DS who doesn't know what to do because Mommy's a mean bitch every time grandma gets me something" is just trying to start a fight and looking for a reason to think it's me doing something and being self centered. Again - you're wrong! For the others who think DS did the right thing, thank you for chiming in. I am proud of him for a lot of things - and I was second guessing myself - and still grapple with whether we should have just taken it or not. I like the idea of giving things to charity, but like others have pointed out - I would either have to let MIL know right away and upfront or not do it. I LOVE the idea of having them keep toys at their house. I may try that. [/quote]
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