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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Marriage is transactional — is this normal?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yuck[/quote] Sounds like your spouse just makes explicit what is often implicit on many relationships. Yawn. [/quote] This was my first thought as well. I wish my spouse and I were this upfront about things. Think about it…if there was a chore that you didn’t like, then you can trade for something your spouse doesn’t like and be free of it forever. Someone said that this would not be sustainable after kids, but I heartily disagree. I think it would be amazing after kids. There is a lot of give and take with little kids that require 24/7 supervision. I hated the feeling that I had to choose between being the shrew wife that wouldn’t let her husband golf with his buddies or go to happy hour or feeling lonely and kind of taken advantage of. How great would it be if he was like, “If I go golfing on Saturday, then I will do bedtime every night this week.”? [b]As far as the sexual stuff, I would find that kind of hot. [/b] But I have been married for fifteen years, and I’m not sure that my husband still finds anything I do in bed exciting enough to warrant a weekend away. I’m not sure that I would have liked it six months into being married. I think that’s something that you both have to be into for it to work. Otherwise, it’s just creepy. [/quote] It’s not hot. It makes me think of that scene from Requiem for a Dream.[/quote] Wow. I guess it depends on whether you think your husband is gross, and his being turned on creeps you out, or if you think he is sexy, and his being turned on turns you on. [/quote] No, if someone is saying you can have that thing you want if you do this sexual act *that you do not want to do* that’s pretty gross.[/quote] Okay. But they are married and presumably have joint finances. She can go get whatever it is that she wants either way. If she really wants this weekend, she can go with a girlfriend, or most likely even go with him without doing whatever this is. If he is holding out affection or won’t allow her to leave the house for the weekend or is tightly controlling the finances unless she does what he wants, then obviously that’s abuse. And if it’s not okay with both partners, then it’s not okay. But if both people are in on it and have a loving relationship, I can see how it could be kind of fun. [/quote]
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