Reply to Does the lack of an age gap create more problems in marriages than we acknowledge?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are so many elements to an age gap in a marriage. Firstly the biological factors.[b] We know women mature faster than men [/b]and have a shorter fertility window. Marrying a man your age or younger create many more opportunities for a lack of synchrony regarding life logistics. The younger man may want to wait longer to have children, he may not make enough money to support a family yet, etc. Then, there is the fact that he may be much more emotionally immature to be a proper confidant and partner to his wife.

Finally,[b] women generally age faster[/b] so if you are the same age or older than your husband, you are on an accelerated aging timeline. He may be more likely to have a wandering eye as your looks fade.

I am surprised we do not consider age differences more carefully when dating. It seems preferable to have the woman be at least a few years younger than her husband. [/quote]

You sound pretty young and/or dumb.  "Women mature faster than men" is not a thing that comes into play for marriage, unless you're getting married in middle school.  And women don't age faster - that doesn't even make sense.  Women live longer and are generally healthier than men.  There's no such thing as an "accelerated aging timeline."  If you're concerned that your spouse will have a wandering eye if your looks fade (spoiler alert: everyone's looks fade), then you should not marry that person.[/quote]
DP.. how old are you?

My DH and I are in our 50s. We got married in our 30s.  [b]IMO, most men aren't really mature until they are in their early 30s.[/b]  DH agrees.

Now, if you are both in your 40s, then yea, age gap doesn't matter. [b]But, if you are looking to get married in your 20s, it matters.  A lot of men in their 20s are still fairly immature and definitely not ready for family responsibilties.[/b]  [/quote]

1) Well that's appalling and men should try to grow up instead of just shrugging off being "immature" until the cusp of middle age.

2) Women these days are happy to wait until their early 30s to have kids anyway so none of that is relevant to the question of age gaps. [/quote]
What people should do and what people actually do are two different things.

Yes, IMO, people shouldn't get married until at least 30.  Even so, a lot of men in their early 30s aren't ready for family responsibilities either, whereas the woman is hitting that biological clock ticking.

FWIW I had kids in my mid 30s.  [/quote]

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