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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. So, I came over to my in laws house on Friday. FIL does need some help taking out the dog and a little with cooking [b]as he has slowed down due to Parkinson’s.[/b] Friday, we had dinner and went to bed. I am still recovering from my own abdominal surgery so my belly was a little sore and I went to bed quickly after dinner. They set up SIL’s old room for us and the mattress is so uncomfortable. I complained about how I missed sleeping in my bed and now my husband is mad at me. He says I’ve been a nuisance and don’t understand that he is trying to be a good person and help his dad.

I’m upset because instead of appreciating my company, he is angry at me for understandably being a little uncomfortable at his parents house.

Talk about ungrateful. [/quote]

Talk about BURYING THE EFFING LEAD, OP. Yes, I know I'm all-caps shouting at you.

"He has slowed down due to Parkinson's."

So you didn't bother to put that in the original post? Have you got zero idea about Parkinson's or do you and DH just take for granted that FIL has it and it's no big deal? Or you think MIL always "overreacts" to it so you didn't bother to tell us your FIL has an incurable and debilitating condition?

While your MIL does sound too anxious and your DH absolutely is being a mama's boy to press you to come (he could have handled this weekend alone), do you have SO little understanding of Parkinson's, and so little compassion for an older couple?

My first reaction in your shoes would be to wonder if MIL suspected FIL's Parkinson's was worsening and/or she was concerned that his "little" difficulties cooking could lead to an accident, getting burned, a fire. Or that he'd attempt to take the dog out himself if no one was around or DH turned up late for that chore.

Unless MIL is [i]always[/i] asking you and DH to help out with FIL, you are not seeing what is really going on. You have a family member with Parkinson's. Sure, in early stages it can be relatively minimal. But what will you do and how will you react when you and DH have a ton more to do to help MIL cope as his Parkinson's progresses? Will you be resentful and angry? Will DH not be able to cope at all on his own if he's needed to help, but will he lean on you and make you mad?

Again: DH needs to talk to you about his real concerns here for his dad, and DH needs to stop playing games around the food MIL has bought, etc.

And you need to realize that you are only seeing what's going on this weekend. There are likely years ahead of gradual, or rapid, decline. You and MIL and DH need to have a frank talk about the future and what her REAL concerns about FIL are, and get a plan into place.

From someone whose FIL had Parkinson's. Sorry you're sore and pi$$3d off but you and DH need to look at the longer-term picture here. [/quote]

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