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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Some others have responded to our exchange, but I'm the pp you were responding too. It sounds like what you really don't want is to be part of the extremely polarized and contentious debates occurring across the United States - often in school board meetings - at this moment in history. These fierce debates, whether they're about BLM, banning books, masks or whatever, are everywhere right now. Your comments suggest, though you may not perhaps intend this, that you perceive these contentious fights to be happening primarily in liberal communities, like that of San Francisco. But that's just not true. Plenty of conservative communities are roiling too. You can't avoid the culture wars by avoiding liberals.

Whether you find your life experience peaceful or not is really going to be about the decisions you make, just as it is in Virginia. Don't engage if people try to pull you into some local battle about BLM or what books to ban this week. If you want a "quiet and safe life" then have one. [/quote]

I'm not suggesting that this is happening only in liberal communities. I see it happening here in Fairfax, which I think it is considered "more moderate" compared to SF Bay area. As an immigrant, I am staying out of these polarized debates. I consider my family having a "quiet and safe life" here in Fairfax.

However, my family has certain conservative values, and I don't want to be part of a community where my values are not respected (or ostracize me to Fresno as someone above wrote). Having my kids being taught that BLM and that they should tell their pronouns, would mean that I would have to tell them that ALM and never say their pronouns, and I don't want to go into this slippery slope. And I think Fairfax schools still maintain some balance with respect to these issues.

I was also reading some other posts here in this Bay Area subforum, about prop 13, underfunded schools, SF Bay not being much family-friendly etc. so overall I'm getting convinced that moving there is not a good thing for me and my family, especially since a $200K - $250K income there is considered low, and as many have said, public education quality is much lower than NoVA. Would like to hear a positive argument for me moving there though!

[quote=Anonymous]Idk about privilege bingo. I don’t think people would really care much. They might roll their eyes. School politics are less fraught than in VA, at least that’s my impression from California. My kids have never had a privilege bingo but I would not care if they did.

You likely will not get into any good private schools. Not because of being conservative, but because they are so competitive.[/quote]

This is the "privilege bingo" story I was talking about
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/northern-virginia/privilege-bingo-in-fairfax-co-class-meets-controversy-after-it-includes-being-a-military-kid/2942443/
FCPS apologized for this.
Do you think this would be acceptable in SV schools? Or maybe just nobody would raise an issue in the first place because such things are considered "normal" to be taught there?[/quote]

PP again. I honestly think the schools are going to be way less of an issue for you than your income. And the schools here aren't worse than in VA. As with all schools, it depends on the district and the school. Virginia has about 2,000 schools and California has over 10,000. Most of what makes a school "bad" is poverty, which with 40 million people, California has a lot of. The top schools in California are easily as good as the top schools anywhere in the US. (This is a case where comparing averages is really misleading due to the differences in scale between California and other US states.)

I have no idea if anyone has tried privilege bingo (ever) in (any) SV school. California public schools teach the curriculum provided by the district. You'd have to look at the schools you are considering to find out what they use. I really don't think the official curriculum is that politically charged. But your kids will be going to school with other kids who are themselves passionate about various political issues - just as is true in Fairfax. That's where most of the exposure to other ideas will come, not the classroom.

That said, the people at my church identify their pronouns during Zoom Bible study. The same openness that makes California so welcoming to immigrants is part of a culture of openness that would respond with what I would consider politeness to someone who wants to be a "they." The pp who noted the strong libertarian streak in the Bay Area is absolutely right. We are very much live and let live. If you want to be a "she" or a "he," then fine. But that also means being fine if someone else wants to be a "they." If that is really too much for you to stomach, then don't move to the Bay Area.

I really think you'd be fine though, with the politics and the schools. Your income is the much, much bigger problem.[/quote]

I get your point about the income. That's why I am trying to see if there's any possibility in living in a cheaper area which is "commutable" to SV twice per week, and possibly leaving room for a private school. What about Monterey county?

Regarding the privilege bingo thing - I'm not looking if that particular "privilege bingo" is part of a curriculum. I just brought it up as an example of something which was not acceptable in Fairfax, if (hypothetically) existed in SV if it would be acceptable. Based on other's comments it would, and for me this is a no-no.

Regarding pronouns - ok about "they" etc, but is it fine if a kid refuses to identify pronouns? Will that kid be still "welcome", or will it get "ostracized"?[/quote]

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