Reply to 7 Year Old Stealing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]My daughter has a great many very positive character traits. She's fun, outgoing and friendly in a way that's very engaging.[b] Even though she can't stop socializing[/b[b]] in class,[/b] her teachers are generally fond of her because she has a sunny disposition

this is just based on an  internet post but i cannot help feeling that even your 'praise' of your daughter comes across as forced and ambivalent and i think it is the sense of a critical withholding response to your daughter that a lot of the posters responded tolast time you posted.  i mean,  why qualify her teachers' fondness? i remember last year's post and i still think there are power struggles at play here between you and your daughter. maybe she senses that your feelings about her(esp compared to her siblings) are more, let's say, complex and she is acting out unconsciously? not saying this is all your fault but i am willing to bet there are family issues of power, control, rejection, disapproval/criticism at play here. perhaps she has a strong personality and exhibits behaviour around food that you not only find worrying but at some level deeply disapprove of and it shapes your feelings toward and interactions with your daughter...or maybe the food is her expression of independence from your criticism, her unconscious rebellion....if you are totally honest with yourself, are your feelings about your daughter more critical or less unambiguous than your other kids?

at least this is what caused me at age 8 or so to steal food...i wish we had family therapy then instead of me waiting thru overeating, then anorexia and another 20 years before seeing someone on my own.

at any rate her behavior is unacceptable and while shame  may put and end to it a visit to a therapist might not hurt to see if the underlying roots can be addressed...[/quote]

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