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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you. You sound just like my husband. His parents are just straight up weird. My DH is an only child, these are the only grandchildren, yet my ILs won't see the kids 90% of the times we invite them because "they're so busy" or "have a lot on their plates." He is retired, she works from home part time, they live 15 minutes from us.  They hate me, hate my parents, think we are snobs and look down on them, etc., etc. Your story is really, really familiar. 
And I don't have great advice but I do want to say I'm so sorry. It's really sad and hard what you're going through. Give your self some time and patience to feel really angry and cheated and sad.  And by the way, give that same grace to your wife. At least for me, I so wanted a close relationship with my ILs. It took my a long time to really mourn the fact that this other family I joined really doesn't like me or want anything to do with me. It's a very sad thing. And we're sad for our kids that their young, geographically close grandparents don't lift a finger to see them (But don't hesitate to talk shit about all of us to the rest of the family and imply/outright lie that we keep them from the kids).

I'm sorry. They're toxic people. Stay aligned with your wife, have her back, do your best to hold your head up nd don't let it discourage you. I got some therapy and it helped a lot. You might want to try that also. [/quote]

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