Reply to Guy I'm dating says he needs time to "wrap things up" before we start our relatioship- what to do?

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Reply to "Guy I'm dating says he needs time to "wrap things up" before we start our relatioship- what to do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you say "exclusive" -- do you mean he's not sleeping with anyone else?  That he needs 7-10 days to commit to that?  If so, that's really weird IMO.  If he was really into you, he'd drop everything and commit to you.  
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OP actually said "We had the talk to define the relationship, and both agreed that we want to be in a committed relationship [u]and boyfriend/girlfriend[/u]."  If he's currently dating other women I can see not feeling comfortable calling himself "Larla's boyfriend" until those other women know he's not going to see them anymore.  [/quote]

PP here.  I get that maybe he doesn't want to tell the world about Bf/GF status.  But [b]why isn't he telling her he's not going to be physically intimate with these other women RIGHT NOW.  I can see saying that he wants to have break up conversations, but why does that need 7-10 days to be exclusive?  Maybe I am thinking of exclusivity the wrong way, but it means monogamous to me[/b].[/quote]

New poster and I agree with the bold above. I DO think it's positive that he is being (fairly) transparent and it's great that OP and he had an actual adult conversation and made a commitment; however, it sounds as if the conversation did not go as far as OP needs it to, or as I would need it to, in her shoes. She should have said, and can still say,, "I think it's honest of you to want to break off seeing these other women in a decent and thoughtful way, and it's great that you let me know about them. I'm not going to tell you whether to text or call or see them to let them know you're now in a committed relationship. But I'm going to be honest with you in return since you've been frank with me. Committed means monogamous from this point on, for me, so I need to know that it means the same thing to you now and during this week when you're seeing or contacting these women one last time." Then see what he says. Or more bluntly: "Do you think you will feel you should have sex with them one last time? If you do, I'm asking you to say so, as honestly as you've said everything else." (and if the answer were yes, well, he and she would then need to have a much blunter talk....)

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