Reply to How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?

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Reply to "How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have said many times you want to build a relationship with your extended family so I would say do it! But the only way I see you make this happen is to move closer. Since it sounds like you have the financial means, I would buy a 2 nd home and visit as much as you can.

I am not childless so not connecting in that way but I am the only sibling, relative who left my small town. My dh a bit of the same but a city. Any relationship we have with family and childhood friends almost all revolve around us going to them. They love us, call us, send gifts, etc. but except for my parents ( who love mine and their other grandchildren), I can count maybe 8-10 visits from either side in 20 yrs.

If we wanted a relationship, we had to go to them. I’ve discussed this with other dc area friends  who say the same. A lot of people just do not think outside their world or comfort zone. It is just the way it is.  You can have a relationship but it will be on their terms. Once I accepted that I was so much happier as I could choose it or not. I chose it!

OP again.

You are absolutely right. A lot of people do not think outside their world or comfort zone.

I would like to have a a closer bond with my extended family but it will be on their terms, as you pointed out.

In hindsight I think it already started when I left my small hometown and moved to a big city to pursue a career and a new life. It is where I met my husband. My husband was born and brought up in this city, we lived there and we decided to get married there.
While my relatives all liked my future husband, no one - except my parents  - came to our wedding. My old friends came, but not my relatives, for a variety of reasons. At the time my parents had a feeling that it was because the wedding was held where we lived, not in my hometown where all my family lived, although nothing was ever said about it.

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