Reply to Every sign, signal, Instinct, etc in the world is telling me to leave

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. He’s doubling down on being an a hole. I want to be mad about it but I’m choosing to laugh to myself and ignore him, because he’s so pathetic.
He handled bedtime tonight. I went to get a pedicure and have some me time out of the house for a change.
Almost every night, even if my husband handles bedtime, in give our child a little cuddle snuggle before it’s lights out for him. 
While I was gone tonight, husband texts me: “he’s crying for you and refusing to go to sleep because he expects you to cuddle him. Maybe you should refer back to the sleep training books and methods you insisted that we follow.”

A: he’s such a d*ck and trying to be rude hurtful at every turn. Cool! 
B: I watched the playback from the baby monitor. Our child whined cried for about 3 minutes. Laid head down, quietly laid there and put himself to sleep within 10 minutes. Like any normal night. Exaggerate much?
C: he brags to everyone how “we” sleep trained him and how great the book method is that we used. Suddenly the much touted praised books and methods are “the things you insisted that we follow.” When all is well, we take the credit. When he has an issue, finger gets pointed at me for the blame.
D: I’m not going to let a miserable person try to steal my light and joy. Even I’m married to him.
E: at this moment, I’m thinking I’m also a maybe re: that weekend sit down to share feelings, solutions, and an action plan for us. Can’t say that I have any desire to make efforts when he’s spent the whole day being an ass.[/quote]

13:06 PP here (one who is mid divorce). This is familiar behavior. It's probably not going to get better. I am much happier now that I know I am not spending the rest of my life with an unhappy person who wants to steal my light and joy.

I would recommend that you and dc just live your own life-I know you aren't divorcing yet, but you can do that even in the same house. Find your joy with your dc and cut him out of the equation. You may find yourself happy 'on your own' so to speak and that can guide your decision making process.

I'm not saying you 'should' divorce OP. I'm just saying I've been in your shoes and sharing my experiences.[/quote]

Op here. We have been living completely separate independent lives over the last 2 days. He wrote me a long text today that he’s been deeply unhappy in our marriage since day 1, he feels perpetually lonely and alone, and that he’s the only one who approaches this as a partnership or team. All the things he needs to be happy in a relationship are “undermined by toxic selfishness and bs”

Can we please recall the events of the past 24 hours? He brought up an issue, mainly communication . I proposed a time place and plan to sit down and talk. His response: “maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.”
And he hasn’t looked at or spoken to me since then.

And I’m the one not being a partner or teammate? I’m the one undermining with toxic selfishness and bs?
[/quote]

Yikes, he’s delusional and psychotic. He’s trying again to rewrite the narrative that you’re the AHOle and not him.

Gray rock and yellow rock.

Write back: I don’t agree with your new narrative of what happened.

That’s not what happened and you know that.

That’s not true.

Then just resend and resend if he loves text arguing. [/quote]

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