Reply to Not being at home for a long period of time is not "abandonment"

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Reply to "Not being at home for a long period of time is not "abandonment""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find it sad and pathetic that people can't be away for 30, 60, etc days without somebody categorizing it as "abandonment" whether it is for the courts or not.

Right before my friend's nervous breakdown she said, I wish I had an addiction so I could just go away for 30 days. Sometimes life is too much or relationships become hostile and a break is necessary and good.

People on here will cry "grow up" or "grow a pair" but I really wish people would take 30 days to work on themselves and come back better and stronger than be their normal miserable, broken self.[/quote]

It’s fine if you have a spouse who agrees to take care of the home and your child while you’re gone. It’s fine to vacation separately. What’s not fine is to make the decision for yourself without thinking about the impact and implicit to the family. It’s not fine to just ditch things because they suck, rather than dealing with them.

And as for your friend, she could have gone away. Did she ask? FWIW, People with addictions don’t really go away willingly, and it’s not exactly a party to be away - they go away because it’s usually at the point of a life and death situation. They go away broken so they can come back better.

I agree that a break can be good, but OP uses to use their words and communicate that. Also, a break should not mean just dumpling your family responsibilities on the other parent - there should be equitable share of the work of parenting while on that break. It’s not just about the parent, it’s about the family. [/quote]

That’s the thing if you are unwilling to fix yourself it’s all cool to be “sent to rehab” but when you think.. I’m on the brink I need to step back, it should be okay to need that. She asked her spouse, he said “who will take care of everything” she said “whoever will do that if I’m hospitalized for something” he didn’t get it, she ended up “hospitalized for something … a breakdown”

Not everybody on the brink of breaking fiend”can be great at verbalizing it”.

Sometimes the kids need to understand not all their wants and needs will be met at some points in your life. [/quote]
What’s the right amount of time? Ten days? 30 days?  Just whenever the “I need a break” person decides they want to come home? How much of a budget to live somewhere else? Hotel? Short term rental? AP home?
My gift to my husband every year is a vacation. Sometimes it’s golfing down in SC with work friends. Sometimes it’s a long motorcycle ride to Maine. I know he is happier when he gets me time.
I also go on short trips alone, like hiking with a women's group in NC. Our trips are always coordinated and agreed upon. This is what partners do for each other. They talk, they listen, they try to meet each other’s needs. It’s not unilateral. [/quote]

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