Reply to How to comfort friend after disappointing delivery?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend who had a very tough labor and delivery - was in labor for almost 48 hours before an emergency c-section.  She had done a lot of research and really wanted a vaginal birth - she hired a doula and wanted to keep going even when things weren't progressing (hence the 48 hours).  Her husband is my friend too and told me she is really upset about how it ended up and he thinks may be causing (or at least contributing to) PPD, along with  struggles breastfeeding.  She is a pretty type A/anxious person and really wants to do things "right" (I'm putting it in quotes because I know there is no "right" or "wrong" way to deliver).

I would like to reach out to her and be supportive.  [b]I don't want to minimize her experience [/b]but I also [b]want her to know it isn't some big disaster that she had a c-section.  [/b]As a mom of two kids I know that the birth experience seems all-important at the time, but it quickly loses relevance compared to first smiles, first steps, first days of school, etc.

Any suggestions for supportive things to say that aren't condescending or dismissive?[/quote]

Which do you want more? Your statements are in conflict.

[/quote]

OP here.  I meant that I know it is a huge deal to her right now and I want to validate her feelings. But I would also like to help her get to a place where it doesn't feel like as big of a deal.  However, PPs helped me see that it is probably more helpful to focus on the former.[/quote]

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