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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep.  Whatever he expects of you, tell him that you're busy and he can ask your husband.  It seems like you're stuck in some very unhealthy gender roles.  If your husband has to do the work or deal with the fallout, there will be a lot fewer visits.  If he doesn't like the normal behavior of children, he should not ask to visit a household with children.  So let the kids act how they act and if he doesn't like it, bye.

It will be incredibly damaging to your child if your father tolerates her being mistreated in her own home.  You have to intervene the very first time.  "Joe, do not speak disrespectfully to Larla."  Then stand there and look at him and let it be very, very awkward for a while.  That's the only way to draw a boundary.  If he gets mad and leaves, you win.  This is no kind of grandparent relationship that benefits your child, at all.  If your FIL is lonely, it is only the consequence of his own bad choices and not your problem to solve by allowing your child to be mistreated.

[b]You could get a nursery camera so that you can hear what he's saying when he thinks you are not listening.  Try that and record it on your phone for your husband to hear[/b].[/quote]

I think this is a great idea. These nanny cans are cheap and ubiquitous.

[/quote]

Amazing idea.

Op[/quote]

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